Ace Burpee's Blog

80's movies that should not be remade...

Posted By: Ace Burpee · 4/4/2011 4:16:00 PM

You name it, it's being remade. Whatever your favourite movie was growing up is about to get a fresh new cast and an updated script, and will once again grace the big and or small screen. Footloose, Teen Wolf, and Red Dawn? All being remade. Top Gun, Porky's and Teen Witch? All in the works. Police Academy, Weird Science, and on and on it goes. The 80's are the new Hollywood. Your favourites of all-time are not sacred, and their remake is now inevitable. For the record... here are ten 80's films that should not be touched.

1) Sixteen Candles. This 1984 John Hughes classic is just that: A classic. It's perfect. Please don't touch it. I still love Samantha Baker in a way Jake Ryan never could. Plus, you are not going to coax a better performance out of anyone better than the one Gedde Watanabe turned in as Long Duk Dong. 

2) Revenge of the Nerds. Awesome. Just awesome. Lewis & Gilbert were my heroes. Please Hollywood, don't touch this film. Lamar Latrell is the greatest javelin hurler ever. Don't mess with it. Booger ruled. Stan Gable was perfectly annoying. Leave well enough alone.

3) The Breakfast Club. Again John Hughes, and again perfect. Sadly, the idea of the film is probably too good not to remake.

4) Uncle Buck. There is only one John Candy. No need to try and improve on any of Candy's work.

5) Chariots of Fire. I know, they wouldn't dare right? Of course they would. There's money to be made off of it still.

6) Johnny Be Good. Luckily, I'm safe on this one... as it is apparently one of the worst films ever. Anthony Michael Hall as quarterback Johnny Walker not ringing a bell? Got it. I might be both the only person in Winnipeg who has seen it, and most certainly the only person who liked it. I'm going to search for it on Netflix.

7) Naked Gun. I swear, if Hollywood dares try and replace Leslie Nielsen I will have a fit. You. Just. Can't. OJ might be available though.

8) Stand By Me. Again, like Breakfast Club, it's probably too good not to remake. But please don't, Hollywood. It has held up well. Very well. Leave us with River Phoenix as we remember River Phoenix.

9) Rad. Rad was rad. I think I'm safe here, as even though BMX is still big, it's not the mid 80's anymore. I would also hope Gleaming the Cube is safe.

10) Youngblood. Probably the worst best hockey film ever. We didn't like it because it was good, so just move on to something else Hollywood. There's nothing you can do with this.

I could go on. E.T., Beverly Hills Cop, The Blob, Breakin', D.C. Cab...

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